Deadlift PR!

Deadlift PR

170kg x 5

Squatting for fun

Squat
120x10
120x10
100x8

Deadlift PR 160kg x 6.


I wish I could fucking die right now. There is nothing to live for anyway. What would you do if something you cherish will be gone in a few days? And the fact that no one will ever know the reason why it is something you hold dear to?

Fuck this.

bad bad day

squat
up to 130 x 3 x 2sets

Deadlift
up to 140 x 8
stop- because of severe headache.

zw is a weak fuck

Squats
Bar x 5
Bar x 5
60 x 5
70 x 5
80 x 3
90 x 3
100 x 3
110 x 3
120 x 2
130 x 2
140 x 2
150 x 2
150 x 1
-fail-

Shoulder Press
bar x 10
40 x 5
50 x 5 x 5

Rows
30 x 10
30 x 10
30 x 10

Curls
12 reps x 3 sets

Foodlog 1

Meal 1
Protein shake
Oats

Meal 2
fish cutlet rice
4 eggs

Meal 3
Chicken chop + fries

Meal 4
Rice + jap seasoning
1L milk

fuck im undereating

Goals

Goals by this year -
160kg Squat
200kg DL without straps, hook grip
120kg Bench.

totaling 480kg (1058 lbs)

Repurcussions(Of every kind)

5/3/1-repercussions
I have always tried to start a 5/3/1 cycle, but failed as always, between the first and second week. Its not that I don't trust this program.

In this program, relatively light weights are used in the beginning. That's one of the quips I have with 5/3/1- starting too light. I understand fully that starting light would have its benefits but for me, I just fucking hate to do light stuff when I'm in the gym.

Thats me. As the strongest drug numbs the most powerful craving, the heaviest weights kills all mental suffering.

Mental suffering
I seem to be on the edge of sanity nowadays. All of the recent happenings, reminds me of a certain spell of events at a certain time, not too long ago. Betrayal, the knowledge of a certain event that seems out of place and the secrets that are too ugly to let loose and gossip about. Much more dark it is then juicy. Not saying that the recent occurrence has any a speck to do with me. It affects me in a way that bad memories are provoked-there is no such term as painful memory in my dictionary, however I would use it just for another tale to be told.

Consequences
These thoughts, these provocations drew me into a vortex of madness and murderous ideas. These are the primordial values that molded me into what I am today. Yes, madness and murderous ideas. What I have inculcated into myself was of my own choice and decision. These pent-up representations of my psychosis, I release it to the iron. At the expense of my physical shell.

Aftermath
Release is always good. Iron is cold and absolute. These events, I can put in the back of my mind-for now.

Mind
I've always pondered to myself-why do I love solitude? Is it because of the factors that mold me that way? Or is it a result of my own choice? How do I break free of this curse? Of abandoning those who truly care for me, then regretting it later? It reaches the point of no return, changing her outlook on life, leading to unwise decisions and become the introvert that she once was. Having the power to change someone's life, I botched it with immature thinking and idiocy. What the fuck am I doing two years ago? Its time to numb the senses once more.

Train in Tamp Gym

Tamp Gym

Squat
130 x 4
135 x 3
140 x 3
135 x 3
130 x 3

Bench
90 x 4
95 x 3
100 x 3
100 x 2 fail 1
100 x 2 fail 1
90 x 3

DB Bench
24 x 10
24 x 8

Some weighted pullups
few DB snatches

some impt stuff b4 i go off

No longer intimidated. No fear, no regrets, the play is set in motion, im ready to roll.

Thoughts on strength:

so what if you are big? if you ain't stronger then me i don't give a fuck.

so you're big. act like one. why the fuck are u squatting about the same tiny me when you outweigh me by so much?

Douches

the biggest douche i can think of is one who had gotten big, with considerable effort put in, yes that is respectable. What is not all that commendable is the swagger you put out in the sacred temple of metal, acting like a king and all. don't start licking a boot when a real monster arrives to pray at the temple.

Why oh why, do you have to strike any form of conversation in the temple. The annoying fact is that the temple is full of chatterboxes all the time. time, which is definitely of the essence, should not be wasted on small talk and all. A serious strength/bodybuilding enthusiast may need the squat rack in the next 10 minutes, and you have probably wasted some of his time. This may seem trivial, till you realize, what if you are the victim at hand, waiting to duke out some sets of squats while waiting for Mr. Chatterbox and Mr. Chatterbox Two both military pressing in the power rack to get the fuck out.

So what is this phenomenon of the human mouth shooting off like an M60 in the sacred temple of iron? to conceal one's insecurities in a chatty, Mr. Oh-SO-You-Are-A-Gym-Regular type of douchebag? To make some fucking friends, just after you see them once in the gym? Oh, come on. Is there really a need to get to know every "hardcore regular types" in the gym? Is it to feel better knowing that you belong to the "in" crowd? Feel more at ease about yourself engaging in the "brothers for life" mentality amongst these "hardcore regular types'? Realize it yourself? You feel like a fag now don't you?

thoughts on the failed disciple

True disciples in the iron culture are RARE. Once found, they are most certainly your kin, brother and friend. Disciples practice the same trade as you. you are their teacher, encourager and idol that they look up to. as time passes, their trade will rival you. such is your power. you are their driving force, their only source of motivation in the pursuit of iron.

With power comes arrogance, with arrogance comes the eventual rebellion and the splitting of routes. The disciple may even mock the master, whether outwardly or inwardly. I believe this is inevitable no matter what. The split may or may not be optimal for the rebellious disciple himself. Yes, he may not have failed you, but you know he will take a much longer route to reach anywhere close to his true potential.

The Long Route is something i have experienced before. It is not fun, at all. Trial and error is an integral part of this dreaded route. It is when you are alone, going solo, being the lone wolf in the pursuit of strength. Failed techniques, method and recovery methods are so numerous that by the time you have gotten a grasp on what's acceptable and what's not, you can see those mistakes you make in your disciple yourself.

Such is the dismay i have gotten from rebellious disciples. knowing that he will make the same mistakes that you have made, is both laughably stupid and disappointing altogether. Is it so hard to accept the rate of gains, in both muscularity and strength, to become slower as you progress and break out of the novice level? Is it not the grand journey to the peak of muscular efficiency ( my own goal ) to be savored, the blood and sweat we shed, to be the ultimate testimony of our determination to achieve?

Ah, disciples. I'll never have any hope for another to come by anymore.

TP Gym b4 rugby training on wed

Squat

130kg x 3

140kg x 3

140kg x 2 fail 1

140kg x 2 fail 1

130kg x 4

Shud be correct

Bench

100x 3

100 x 3(lil help last)

100x 3 (lil help last)

hardcore gym

Simei Gym

Great gym.

Squat
140 x 3
140 x 3
140 x 2 fail 1
140 x 2 fail 1
130 x 3

Bench
95 x 4
95 x 4
95 x 4
95 x 4
95 x 4

DB ROW
30x 10
30x 10
30x 10

some bicep work.

great gym. 2.50 per entry

So far for squats all 3rep x 5set
started:
Wk1 D1-115kg D2-117.5kg D3-120kg
Wk2 D1-122.5kg D2-125kg D3-130kg
Wk3 D1-132.5kg D2-135kg(current)

Bench
Wk2 D3-90kg
Wk3 D1-92.5kg D2-95kg(current)



with my hands you were
torn asunder, piece by piece,
reveling at the inspeakable deed
every piece of your destruction
ironically scattered in the place you call home,
the crime that most consider inhuman, it was the ultimate salvation in my mind
walls splattered with crimson paint, a masterpiece to behold.

i hold your mangled remains up high as the justification of my conquest
an unwilling matyr to turn away any who opposes
as the orb of flames rises from the horizon
retiring to the empty shell once again

Gearing Up Day 2

Overhead Press
20kg x 10
40kg x 5
50kg x 3
55kg x 3
60kg x 3
60kg x 3
60kg x 3
60kg x 3
50kg x 3
55kg x 3
55kg x 3

Lateral Raises
12kg x 10
12kg x 10
12kg x 10

Front Delt Raises
12kg x 10
12kg x 10
12kg x 10

Arnold Press
14kg x 10
14kg x 10
14kg x 10

Curls
8reps 3 sets

Pull-Ups
5reps 2 sets

Gearing Up Day 1

Back Squat
60 x 6
80 x 5
100 x 3
120 x 3
130 x 3
130 x 3
130 x 3
130 x 3
120 x 4
120 x 5

Bench Press
60 x 5
70 x 5
80 x 5
90 x 3
90 x 3
95 x 3
95 x 3
95 x 3
100 x 2
90 x 1
95 x 3
95 x 3

Dumbell Bench
22.5 x 10
22.5 x 15

Dips
10rep 5 set

Curls
10rep 6 set

Wendler's 5/3/1- Week 2 Day 1

Bench Press

65kg x 5
75kg x 5
85kg x 11

Incline Bench

50kg x 8
50kg x 8
60kg x 5

Dumbbell Bench

22.5kg x 3 x 10

Close-Grip Bench Press
70kg x 2 x 6
80kg x 5

Shrugs

Heavy Sets
Light Sets

Wendler's 5/3/1- Week 1 Day 2

Deadlifts

112.5kg x 5
130kg x5
150kg x 5

One-Arm Rows
26kg x 3 x 15

Lat Pulldowns

160kg x 3 x 8~10

Curls
3~4sets

Wendler's 5/3/1- Week 1 Day 1

LEGS

Squat

85kg x 5
98kg x 5
110kg x 10
60kg x 5 x 10

SHOULDERS

Shoulder Press

40kg x 5
42.5kg x 5
50kg x 8

Dips 5x 15
Chins 5x 10